A Wild Life of Wildlife

So my sister Rebecca is down to visit for a few weeks. I have been showing her around the city, gave her a look at the Great Ocean Road, but on Monday we did a guided trip to a place called Phillip's Island just off the coast of Melbourne. It was a very interesting trip as we not only walked some beautiful beaches, but encountered several uniquely Australian animals including, Kangaroos, Wallabies, Wombats, Koalas, and Penguins.

The trip started in the morning around 11 am as we were picked up on Collins Street in Melbourne where we were greeted by a very energetic Australian tour guide named Simon. We packed into the small 20 person van with a menagerie of tourists that included, Japanese, Chinese, British, Vulcans, and Germans. The day started with a light lunch of "Salad" sandwiches (which for the layman American means "lettuce.") Basically it is lettuce, tomato, cheese, and cucumber in a sub roll. It was (with most food in Australia) tasty and very much British, but after that little lunch break we were off to our next destination, the Mara Animal Park.

My favorite kangaroo. I call him Punchy.

Mara is a park where they rescue and raise orphaned animals. The animals are very used to humans and for a A$1 donation you can buy a tin of food and feed kangaroos, emus, goats, wallabies, etc. I must admit this was the highlight of the tour for me. Feeding kangaroos is pretty damn awesome. They literally hop right up to you and you have to do is lower the food and they take it right from your hand. Sometimes they will use their small little hands to hold onto your hand as they eat the seeds and grass from your palm. Each kangaroo had its own sort of personality. Some were pushy, some were timid, some were albino, but our favorite was the kangaroo we decided was probably drunk. I envied this guy as he had not a care in the world. He would lazily look up at you and take the food from your hand. He couldn't seem to focus on anything going on around him. When I ran out of food he just stood there and kept looking at me. I couldn't tell if thought I was going magically get more food or if was wondering if I had bottle of scotch on me (I'm not saying I didn't).

However, I can see how these animals can be so dangerous. Being up close to them you can see how powerful their tails and legs are. I watched them bounce along near us and they do it so effortless and jump so high. I haven't seen leg muscles like that since Lance Armstrong strangled that guy with his quadriceps. However, I also discovered their weakness. Apparently, kangaroos are suckers for being scratched under their chins. They are like my dog (well slightly smarter).

We saw many different type of animals include a parakeet which I think called me a name I would rather not repeat in this text. (It is amazing what tourists can teach these animals). After the animal park we walked several startlingly beautiful beaches including ANZAC beach where there are many many surfers. We also looked at Seal Island which has thousands of seals and saw a replica of a 15 foot great white which was caught off the coast of Philip's Island.

The night finished up with what is called the Philip's Island Penguin Parade. Each night at sundown the penguins return from spending all day at seas fishing. When crossing the beach to reach their nests they do so in large groups for safety and, of course, human beings have exploited the sh*t out this. As there are literally hundreds of penguins crossing the sands each night, the good people on Philip's Island had enough courtesy to build giant concrete stands and sell tickets to tourists who watch these little creatures in their daily struggle across the long beach of Philip's Island. I am, however, being cruel because the good people on Philip's Island really do a lot to protect the penguins and the other natural animals of the island. You are not allowed to take any pictures of the penguins as the flashes could permanently damage their eyesight. Long metal ramp ways have been built over the penguin colonies so tourists do not traipse through their homes, and they even close major roads from sundown to sun-up to protect the penguins, wallabies, and other animals that roam at night.

At one point (after the annoying and screaming group of children and their even louder and obnoxious parents finally left the stands) the penguins actually came right up to us and waddled clumsily around near where we sat. The penguins are very small and obviously not very equipped to walk in the sands and the divots created by human children whom an hour before were having sand fights and digging holes out of boredom. They waddled back and forth tripping more often than not while a hundred or so humans basically held their breath and tried not move so as not to disturb this small group of very uncoordinated aquatic birds. It was all beautiful and moving but the real excitement came when I tried Crocaroo Pizza.

Now I have made my stance on Australian Pizza clear, but with the Crocaroo Pizza the Aussies have so completely lost sight of the point of pizza that they can't even look back anymore and see the line they crossed. The pizza wasn't bad but confusing in many ways. The Aussies have made the pizza into a seven course meal in every slice. Among most of the things this pizza had on top of it was onions, tomato, corn, and a few types of meat. This meat (if you haven't guessed it) is Crocodile and Kangaroo. Croc meat is thin and white and tastes a bit like fish while Kangaroo meat is darker and tastes a bit like a lean steak. Surprisingly, I actually liked the meat. It was like a steak and fish pizza which seems a very novel (and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlish), as long as you tried not to think too long and hard on what you were actually eating. Rebecca tried a piece and couldn't finish it due to such mental images. I had three pieces, and I can now say that I got to taste both croc and kangaroo.

Over all the day was exhausting but very good. We saw a lot and did a lot. And when you think about it the whole day really came full circle. Basically, I fed the kangaroos in the morning and at night they fed me.