So now I have been living in Australia for a few months now, and I have been here long enough to sample some of the local cuisine (and by local cuisine I mean fast food). My rating for each of the following restaurants will be based on a one to five star system, and since I am down under, so I will be using the seven-pointed Federation Star.
MCDONALDS
So let's start off with the most obvious resturant. Its our biggest export to the world since Coca Cola or Disney (both of which have contractual deals with McDonalds.) The natives call it "Makkers," which still sounds weird to me. As far as food goes, there is not much to say. McDonalds is McDonalds is McDonalds. A Big Mac tastes like a Big Mac. The Chicken McNuggets are the same, the Hash Browns taste like Hash Browns, the McSnozberries taste like McSnozberries, and you can even get a Sausage Egg McMuffin (which is unheard of in Australia), and not only do the french fries taste like french fries, but on the menu they are even called "fries." (However, when I ordered the fries, the 17 year old behind the counter became confused because I didn't say "chips," but the menu at least says fries.) I am, however, a big fan of the McCafe, which is just starting to catch on in the States, but is a standard part of every McDonalds in Australia. The McCafe is set up as a different counter that serves, coffee, lattes, hot chocolate, and even has an array of cakes and muffins to choose from. The good part is that since this is McDonalds, they are usually a cheaper alternative to other city coffee places and their five-dollar muffins. I give Australian McDonalds 4 out of 5 Federation Stars.
HUNGRY JACK'S
If the logo looks familiar that is because it is. Hungry Jack's is a subsidiary of Burger King. For some reason Australia is one of the only countries in the world that calls it Hungry Jacks instead of Burger King. However, regardless of the name change it is basically the same. I say basically, because in Australia when you have the burger "your-way" that means you can get ingredients like beets, mustard, relish, eggs, and tomato sauce on your burger. As far as taste goes, Hungry Jacks stays pretty faithful to the Burger King formula. The fries are different and the chicken nuggets have a slightly altered taste but it is still good. It is also one of the best values with a meal that offers a Chicken Sandwich, Fries, Drink, and an Ice Cream Sundae for five dollars. In a country where a bottle of coke costs A$3.50, that's a good value. I give Hungry Jacks 3.5 out of 5 Federation Stars.
Here's a face I bet you thought you would never see in Australia. I mean how does the very southern and very American marketing face of Colonel Harland D. Sanders translate to the wild outback of Australia? The answer is: Not Too Badly. KFC is one of the biggest franchises in this country, even sponsoring the annual Cricket Finals. (I bet old Harland had no idea what cricket even was ,let alone that his restaurant would be sponsoring it.) As far as taste, I am glad to report there is no real change. My main complaint is that the Aussie KFCs do not carry Snacker Sandwiches or Mashed Potato Bowls (which are my two favorite things). However, I did try "The Double," which of all the things we export why we decided to send forth a sandwich that replaces the bread with two pieces of chicken, I will never know. Why not just confirm to the world our absurd obesity issues. I give it 3.5 out of 5 Federation Stars.
TACO BILL
No that is not a typo, the restaurant's name is really Taco Bill. It is the only franchised Mexican restaurant in Australia, and because of that I feel very sorry for the people of Australia and Mexico. It bills itself as an authentic Mexican restaurant, but the truth is that it cannot even hold a candle to Taco Bell, let alone to any one of the authentic or non-authentic Mexican restaurants you can find in the tri-state area. The tacos are made with poorly cooked beef, that is more hash than minced. The salsa was weak, and worst of all the taquitos were wrapped in hard shells and deep fried. They made me slightly sick (Which, for anyone who knows me, knows how much I love a good taquito, especially at 3 in the morning from 7-11). Eating at this establishment made me long for America and our slightly realer Mexican food, and endless nacho chips. I give Taco Bill 1 out of 5 Federation Stars.
PANCAKE PARLOUR
The closest I have found to American-esque Pancakes in Australia. The only time I ate here was with my sister, and we had two "two-for-one" short stack coupons. We both had four pancakes (which surprised our waitress and further cemented the fat American stereotype, but I didn't care.) After leaving here it was the fullest I had ever felt while in Australia. Still, with that said, the place was very overpriced, and their bottomless coffee deal was far from bottomless. The service was slow and getting the attention of a waitress was near impossible. Even worse the Aussies severely underestimated how much maple syrup a person can use when eating pancakes. So as good as it was, it still does not compare to IHOP. However they did have some tasty looking desert pancakes that I'd be willing to try... Yet no one in Australia has seemed to have invented the chocolate chip pancake. Over all, I give it 4 out of 5 Federation Stars.
SUBWAY
What is there to say about Subway? Not much I can tell you. I suppose this is my innate New Jersey prejudice, but Subway is the place where people go when they do not have actual sandwich delis to go to. With that said, there are no sandwich delis in Australia, and Subway is a pretty standard and safe option when you are craving a basic American-type sandwich. It is a very popular restaurant in Australia, which got me to start thinking that if any Quizinos Execs are reading this blog, you can make a killing out here, because (as we all know) Quizinos far exceeds Subway, but the Aussies have never heard of it. I give Subway 3 out of 5 Federation Stars.
KRISPY KREME
Krispy Kreme donuts do exist in Australia, even though they barely exist in the American North-East. I have only had Krisy Kreme Donuts a few times in my life, but the ones I have had in Australia seem pretty much the same. They are covered in glaze, and half a box could probably cause Lance Armstrong to have a heart attack. However, they are not popular in Australia, as I have only found two in all of Melbourne, but they are delicious. With that said, Australia really doesn't do donuts, so it is actually pretty surprising to find even two. yet nothing is more surprising than the fact that most Aussies have never heard of Dunkin Donuts. In New Jersey there is a DD on every street corner, here they are non-existent. You would think the franchise would try to expand across the seas, instead of across the streets. I do miss Dunkin Donuts, and the nights I spent with SB Fun Committee sitting outside in folding chairs eating donuts and drinking coffee, like we were still in high school. I miss those nights. I give Krisy Kreme 4 out of 5 Federation Stars.
STARBUCKS
Speaking of coffee we come now to the famous Seattle coffee company, Starbucks. This is another little seen franchise, barely found anywhere in Australia. Though it is featured prominently in the main section of Melbourne, there are really only 4 or 5 Starbucks throughout all of Victoria. This is of course, completely reverse of America where it is hard to find 4 or 5 corners where there aren't Starbucks. However, in Australia I can understand why they are not as popular. I mean at home you go to Starbucks when you feel like paying five dollars for a cup of coffee. In Australia, you pay five dollars for a cup a coffee regardless of where you are. Yet, there is one thing about the Starbucks here that I really think should be brought to the States: Iced Hot Chocolate. Why do we not have this?!? Not only are they delicious but they are perfectly logical to sell. Iced Coffee is so popular, why not have Iced Hot Chocolate. It is now the only thing I order when I go to Starbucks. This is another establishment that makes me miss the Fun Committee nights of coffee and BS, back home. (I really get nostaligc around food.) I give Starbucks 3.8 out of 5 Federation Stars, but I give Iced Hot Chocolate 5 out of 5 Federation Stars.
So for now, that about covers the basics. There are a few ideas I have for anyone who is paying attention and looking to make a good business investment. I believe the following restaurants would do very well in Australia: Wendy's, Five Guys Burgers, IHOP, Taco Bell, Chili's, and anyone who can figure out a way to setup a passable Jersey-esque diner. I miss diners.
No comments:
Post a Comment