Alice in Wonderland

Alice Springs

As I sit and write this I find myself in the city of Alice Springs. It is basically a city in the same way Hackensack, NJ is a city. It is a place that stays alive because it has the largest airport that is closest to Uluru. Its not a bad little place, but there is not a lot to do. I am here for two days as I wait to depart on my next trip to Darwin. So here I sit in Alice, the southernmost outpost of civilization in the Northern Territory, which in itself if a weird place.

I want to take a moment to talk about the Northern Territory in general. First off, it is a "territory," not a state. Apparently the residents of the Northern Territory vote against statehood in the same way that Texas votes against the Democratic Party. The funny thing is that being a territory as opposed to a state has no real benefit to it. It really only means that the NT has absolutely no say in the creation of laws in Australia. They have no voting power in Parliament, however, they must still elect representatives to send to Canberra, representatives who are not allowed to vote. Imagine being elected to simply go and fill a seat, basically be nothing more than a spectator in government, and exercises no rights or influence over anything that happens. It makes me wonder if they just rotate the position around the 230,000 people who live here by drawing lots. (You might think that is the easiest job ever, but you've never sat through a session of Australian Parliament.) Couple this with the fact there is no real resources or industry in the NT (Northern Territory) in which to make a substantial living and you can start to get what sort of people would live here. Unlike Victoria it has a very small mining industry, it does not have anything close to the wine industry of New South Wales, or even the abundant sheep industry of South Australia. Tourism keeps it alive, but other than some small cattle stations, and a group of people who make their living by capturing and selling wild camels (I am not kidding. I met them... Apparently a black camel is worth 1 million dollars because they are valued in Saudi Arabia,) there really is not a lot to do up here.

The best way I find that I can describe the NT is that the people of Australia look at the Northern Territory, the same way the world tends to look at Australia in general: remote, full of desert, and people who may have spent a bit too long in an ozone-less sun. As I find these types of stereotypes are not always accurate when talking about Aussies in general, they may hold some credence when talking about the people of the NT. Alice Springs, thus exists on this weird threshold of being a modern city and a wild west town. (Sidenote: it is also known as the Lesbian Capital of Australia... no idea...) It is also a place where the most shootings occur, if only because it is the place that has the most guns in all of Australia. It has a large Aboriginal population, but they are almost completely ignored by the Australian populace of the city. It is strange to watch two populations occupy the same space, yet almost act as if the other one does not exist. Obviously, that is a task that seems to be easier for the Australians as the indigenous people cannot escape the modern world (as much as I think they would want to.) At night the city grows quiet except for a small little strip of bars. The major attraction is a bar called Bojangles. (It has all sorts of stuff and kooky things on the wall... You mean Shenanigans?) Even the Aboriginal people who spend most of their days sitting on the dry river bed of the The Todd River disappear at night. Aboriginals are somewhat scared of the dark, so its less likely to see one walking around the streets at night.

As for my own entertainment, I spent the day exploring the city in the same way that I usually do when presented with a new center of civilization. Sufficed to say ,it didn't take long and there wasn't much to see. The only main attraction of the town seems to be the Alice Springs Historic Telegraph Station. Established in 1872 it is the best preserved of the 12 stations along the Overland Telegraph Line. The township of Alice Springs takes its name from the waterhole a short distance to the east of the Station buildings, which itself is named after the wife of the original telegraph operator, Alice. The station operated for 60 years, and then served as a school for Aboriginal children. Nowadays it is one of the last remaining of the historic telegraph stations that used to make up the old line, a line that eventually extended to communications with Britain. It was a 3200 km in length and connected Darwin with Port Augusta in South Australia. Completed in 1872 the Overland Telegraph Line was one of the great engineering feats of 19th century Australia... As you can see its an amazing and fascinating history...

This is literally the most entertaining thing I have seen in
Alice Springs.

Anyway, I set out from my hostel and heading along the "Alice Springs Discovery Trail." The trail is basically a small foot path that follows the dry river bed of The Todd river (obvious-Scrubs-joke high-five.) It wound its way through he backside of the city passing such historic places like "The Todd Bar" or the Returning Veterans Hall (basically a VFW). I was interested in one building I came across, for as I was walking down the small path, out of the corner of my eye I beheld a beautiful sight that made me jump back in amazement. I had to stop to wipe a small tear from my eye as I turned to see a red, white, and blue, star spangled flag flying proudly in the morning breeze. It is amazing how shocking it can be to see an American Flag flying after so long of not seeing it. It was flapping happily next to an Australian flag in a small complex that was calling to me for further investigation. I walked up to the fence and found the Joint Geological and Geophysical Research Station operated by Geoscience Australia and the United States Airforce. Basically it is a small monitoring station for seismic activity. Truthfully, I felt bad for the poor US Air Force schlub that was selected to work it. Imagine being told you are going to be stationed in Australia, but not Sydney... or Melbourne... or Brisbane... but Alice Springs. ("What is there to do in Alice Springs?" "I hear Bojangles has a lot of crazy stuff on the wall...")
 

ANZAC Hill

Anyway I continued my trek to the Historic Telegraph Station as the city scape quickly turned to outback desert. The path became less of a walking path and more of a hiking trail, but within an hour I reached the telegraph station. I must admit that the only reason I had even the vaguest of interests in the station was that (1) I was bored, and (2) Bill Bryson visited it in his book In a Sunburned Country. I entered the overpriced souvenir shop (because apparently everyone is clamoring for the Alice Springs Historic Telegraph Station Hat and matching boomerang,) and learned that entrance to the station was more than I was willing to pay. So I immediately turned around and left. I am all for seeing an obscure piece of Australian Communications history, but I'm not paying for it. I can't imagine they get a lot of customers. From my impression of the place it seemed small and not even the people of Alice Springs cared very much about the station.

So with the disappointment of not seeing the telegraph station I found a billboard telling me about an old Aboriginal trail through the outback (or the bush as some call it), and I instead spent my next hour hiking through the small mountainous region surrounding Alice Springs. I rounded out my day with a hike up ANZAC hill to see the memorial commemorating World War I, and a trip to the supermarket to buy some lunch.

Though Alice Springs is a nice little town, I must admit that I am somewhat anxious to be gone from it. The hostel I am staying at is a converted outdoor theater, and as cool as that sounds it just kind of cold and windy. Other than the main shopping strip, most of the buildings in town have corrugated tin roofs and seem like they would be more at home on a forward operating base (FOB) in the sands of Iraq, than in a city that boasts a population of 27,000. Most of the people I arrived here with from my trip left this morning to adventures unknown and here I find myself trying to find new and inventive ways to spend my days. Well at least I have time to update my blog and work on my novel.